Two weeks ago I wrote about why relations are the most important aspect of school. Now, I’ll try to help you establish new, powerful relations, and improve the existing ones. It certainly is not an easy task, but I think that there are some basic principles that apply to all scenarios.
Start with respect
The first principle of powerful relations is undoubtedly respect. Being respectful to others (especially teachers) should not be important just because it’s appropriate, but because it makes you a better person. Through respect we can learn patience, tolerance, gratitude, and virtue. It also obviously makes the people that surround us more thankful for our existence. Isn’t it a win-win situation? Being respectful is also surprisingly easy. Yes, sometimes when we feel a very negative emotion to someone it can be hard, but it always pays off. Be respectful to be respected – it always happens. No matter how much the other person dislikes you, they’ll always, at some point or another start to respect you more. When your relations are establish with full respect, your life becomes peaceful. Even negative emotions seem to be meaningful doubts instead of dramatic cries. Do not expect to be respected by others. If you spend your whole life expecting, you wont be flourishing. Start with respect on your side, they’ll switch at some point.
Honesty helps in tough times
The next principle is honesty. Honesty cannot exist without mutual respect, because without respect, in hard times, honesty can be misunderstood. Misunderstood honesty only deepens the problem. The person that has opened up feels vulnerable and left out, and the other almost always cannot comprehend the honesty. Be honest not just when “it’s appropriate”, but whenever there’s a chance. Honesty makes the world a better place. I cannot tell you how much have my relations improved after I stopped lying. We often don’t think of small lies as bad things, and maybe they aren’t very bad, but when your relations are full of little lies, they stop feeling real and important. I felt really bad when I was lying. Even though it saved my honor a couple of times, it has never lead to a better life. Tell the truth, at first it’ll hurt, but after some time it’ll give you unimaginable amounts of inner power.
Gratitude strengthens bonds
You certainly have been told to be grateful many times. Expressing gratitude can be hard, but if done with good faith, it can fill you up with immense joy. Being grateful for the people that surround you makes your life more colorful. Gratitude is connected with respect, but can be expressed without it. But gratitude without respect, in my opinion doesn’t have as much power, and often is simply fake. Respect someone and be grateful for their presence. It is very important to not just be grateful for the good actions of the other person, but also for their general existence.
To establish powerful relations, fill the people around you with the greatest good.
I’m experimenting with shorter, more concrete blog posts. I’ll try to publish them twice a week. You can follow me on Twitter, Medium, or subscribe to my RSS feed or newsletter to get info about new posts. Thank you for being a reader of my thoughts.